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Arm’s-length self-photo not fooling anyone →  March 7, 2010 Jason Goodbody

Your attempt to pass off an arms-length self photo as a regular picture is pathetic. Get someone else to take the shot for you. It's not that big of a deal.

Dan Hampton somehow relates Haiti plight to ‘85 Bears. →  March 5, 2010 Clay Sander

Haiti is near the Dominican Republic, Sammy Sosa was born in the Dominican Republic. Sosa played for Chicago.....and Chicago is where the'85 Bears played. You can see how there's a connection."

John Mayer news proves humans capable of giving ‘less than a shit’ →  February 16, 2010 Clay Sander

With the release of Mayer's recent blathering about nailing Jessica Simpson and use of the N-word, people can scientifically give less than a shit.

→  February 16, 2010 Clay Sander

In  a re-branding effort for conservative talk station WLS 890AM, the station management has chosen the image of an old man scowling to represent the new morning drive lineup. The new image is to better reflect the attitudes inherent with the new changes at the “Big 89″. General manager Michael Damsky fired Mancow Muller and Pat Cassidy [...]

Walking down the aisle…  at Bed Bath & Beyond →  February 5, 2010 Scott Green

My wife has a strong sense of exactly what she’d like, whereas I have a very strong sense of wanting to go home and watch football.

Democrats to surrender on Capitol Hill →  January 24, 2010 Marcus Manfred

After days of cowering in their Capitol Hill offices, Democratic congressional leaders indicated Monday they were ready to surrender their agenda, ideals and offices.

Milton Bradley traded to Chicago Bears →  January 23, 2010 Joe Slepski

Shit flows down the river in Chicago Sports.

→  January 6, 2010 Tia Ayers

It's 2010. What's your revolution?

George Ryan wishes “Happy New Year….In JAIL!” →  December 16, 2009 Clay Sander

It's not quite a "Wonderful Life" for Governor George Ryan.

Save BIG by botching your own plastic surgery →  December 16, 2009 Scott Green

I’ve noticed there are a lot of unattractive people out there, and I’d really like to do something to help them give me money.

‘Tis the season to hit potholes →  December 6, 2009 Scott Green

No city gets into the holiday spirit like Chicago, which is why, by statute, city potholes must be large enough to fit Santa.

Act now and we’ll throw in Decatur! →  December 3, 2009 Scott Green

I hope your finances are in order because if you don’t act right now, you’ll miss your chance to purchase historic Illinois.