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Skynet accidentally releases plans for ‘geriatric terminator’ →  March 1, 2010 Mitchell Snyder

It's still unclear why the artificial intelligence network created something that possesses the body of a professional weightlifter but has the head of a seventy year old.

Apple launches iPon →  January 28, 2010 Joe Slepski

Apple invades your pants with its latest invention!

Velociraptor causes havoc at Chick Hatchery →  January 24, 2010 Joe Slepski

Hyde Park is transformed into Jurassic Park!

Save BIG by botching your own plastic surgery →  December 16, 2009 Scott Green

I’ve noticed there are a lot of unattractive people out there, and I’d really like to do something to help them give me money.

Climate Gate scientists drop drawers, expose logs →  December 15, 2009 Robert Thomas

The scientists, found in a dingy laboratory in Transylvania, denied any wrongdoing.

Astronomers baffled by uncharted New Moon →  November 22, 2009 Ann Lindsay

Last year documented an enhanced and extended period of Twilight in which hysteria and other notably odd behavior occurred predominantly in adolescent girls.

→  November 16, 2009 Ann Lindsay

Glenn Beck's team of physicians, nurses and a crowd of medically unqualified onlookers unanimously opted to leave Beck's dangerously infected appendix in his body.

Not to alarm you, but the universe is missing →  November 7, 2009 Scott Green

In this week’s installment of Scott Solves Your Everyday Problems, I’ll get to the bottom of this pesky issue of the 96 percent of the universe that’s gone missing.