Jon Stiffler | jon.stiffler@thedailyblank.com | 10 posts
Jon is a writer from Rockton, IL, a small town just south of the Wisconsin border (Jon uses this as justification for being a fan of the Green Bay Packers). He graduated from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in 2008 with a Bachelor's Degree in Journalism and moved to Chicago in August of the same year, where he had been making coffee for a living until joining The Daily Blank. Jon is currently unemployed, living a life of delicious, diligent indolence. Jon hopes you think his articles are funny, and Jon will now stop typing in the third person.
The Tribune is “reporting” (their tipster seems to be Dwight Schrute’s twitter feed) that today at 12:34:56 PM, the time and date with be exactly 12:34:56 7/08/09. Apparently this only happens once or twice every hundred years, so get the fuck out there and buy those streamers, party hats and ice cream cake, for we [...]
Pending "improvements" have this author illegitimately pissed off.
Didn’t know that? Well, you’re in luck! That’ll be $25.
Season ticket holders are probably on the wealthy side of city society, but… really? Apparently, our near-broke city is as desperate as ever, and now wants to include current Bears season ticket holders in the “amusement tax,” which will cost said ticket holders somewhere between $500 and $10,000 per seat already paid for as long as [...]
Potty-mouthed former Illinois First Lady Patti Blagojevich is reportedly taking the spot left vacant by her ex-governor husband on “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!,” continuing the very public embarrassment of every state resident. “It appears she’s going to do it,” said Rod’s attorney, Sheldon Sorosky. Great. No word on which fellow contestant Patti plans [...]
Charles Darwin is doing beer bongs in his grave this morning as the world received news that the alleged (for the evangelicals) missing link in human evolution has apparently been… found? That is, it was found about a quarter century ago and has been hanging in some German nerd’s house for the past two decades, giving [...]
Actually, it was ammonia following a small fire. Thankfully, no one was hurt. In a possibly related story, a group of small, Molotov cocktail wielding, orange men were seen fleeing the scene grumbling something about “unfair wages” and “sweatshop.” Link: [Chicago Breaking News] Share with everyone!
City Alderman Ray Suarez (31st) proposed an ordinance Wednesday that would cap the number of dogs that residents of Chicago can own at five. Suarez made the proposal sighting complaints from “a lot of people who can’t enjoy their backyards because of irresponsible dog owners” as well as a smell that’s “really bad, especially in the [...]
CTA labels map thieves “copycats”
