Chicago police release their annual top ten list of last-minute holiday gifts most likely to result in domestic violence.

After a riveting two-hour balloon flight, former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was found fifty miles south of Springfield, injured but alive.

In an internationally televised meeting Tuesday in Pyongyang, former President Bill Clinton and supreme dictator of North Korea Kim Jong-Il declared themselves BFFs, after which they exchanged tearful hugs and friendship lockets. Clinton’s locket to Jong-Il, which he had commissioned from world-famous jeweler Tiffany and Co., was crusted in diamonds and wreathed in platinum. Jong-Il’s locket [...]

A nation wrestles with vampire blood-lust.

Tossing aside totally retarded issues like the state budget, Illinois lawmakers are finally getting down to what really matters.

“I feel like a loser,” said Jared Scott after leaving his goddamn iPhone in the back seat of a Chicago taxi-cab on Friday.

Embattled U.S. Senator Roland Burris got a chance at redemption Friday afternoon when his United Airlines flight from Washington D.C. to Chicago suffered a catastrophic hydraulics failure.

Thursday, millions of Americans received emails from President Barack Obama’s chief campaign strategist David Axelrod detailing plans of the incumbent President’s run for nomination in the year 2012.

The first-ever case of online viral herpes transmission was confirmed yesterday in Chicago.

Pothole with undiscernable depth on Lakeshore Drive takes a victim.